7 Quotes From Comedians That Would Make Great First Lines of Books

Thinking of writing a book? The first line is important. The first line sets the mood, theme, style, world and should introduce the main conflict. “Amazing Bonus,” if it foreshadows the end. Above all, the first line should hook an agent, a publisher or two and thousands  millions of readers.

Sounds easy.

Image courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons by Reuben Ingber, Some Rights Reserved.
Image courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons by Reuben Ingber, Some Rights Reserved.

To get you started, here are some plagiarized borrowed lines from people that are already famous. I think these would make perfect openings. The famous won’t mind. Probably (<~Not legal advice). Just think of the possibilities…

Kevin Hart

I used to think guns were loud until I dropped the damn shampoo in the shower.

Laura Kightlinger

I have a rule, and that is to never look at somebody’s face while we’re having sex; because, number one, what if I know the guy?

Image via FlickR Creative Commons by Veronica Belmont, Some Rights Reserved.
Image via Flickr Creative Commons by Veronica Belmont, Some Rights Reserved.

Louis CK

I know it’s not popular to say, but I hate balloons.

Betty White

Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep. Nine, if you’re ugly.

Redd Fox

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why.

via Flickr Creative Commons by Carla de Souza Campos, Some Rights Reserved.
via Flickr Creative Commons by Carla de Souza Campos, Some Rights Reserved.

More Laura Kightlinger

I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.

Dane Cook

When I said I wanted to be a comedian, they all laughed at me. Well, no one’s laughing now.

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